Job, I was not stricken with leprosy,
Nor do I have a husband, children, and great wealth
To be stripped of.
You were blameless before God,
Yet He permitted Satan
To heap ruin upon thee.
How is it then,
That while I do not remain blameless before the Merciful One,
That I am not stricken by Him alone?
Does He figure that this struggle with my flesh
Is punishment enough?
These words encapsulate the screaming cry of many Christian hearts. How can we be prized, loved by God and yet know, at a very minimal level, the extent of our flesh and it's power of destruction in our lives? Really. Who are we that God is mindful of us? That His thoughts would dwell upon us? That His heart would long for us? Has anyone reached a place where sometimes the idea of Hell is even more reasonable than all the crap that you're going through in life? Maybe you haven't dared to traverse that far in your mind; truly it's a dangerous territory of thought. But this is reality for many.
Life is out of control. Your flesh dominates and you can only seem to keep your head above the water. The only goal at present is to just......keep afloat.
Are His mercies new EVERY MORNING? Of course they are. But what if you've arrived at a place in your soul, in your spirit, where you cannot even respond to the power of the Word. Where all you can utter is, "God you better do something because I don't have a single ounce of blood left in me, if YOU don't do this, I will never rise up again."
Friends I have encouragement. YOU don't have to draw on your own strength to respond to the power of His Word. As a matter of fact, you never have responded to Him in your own ability. If all you can do right now is keep afloat, that is okay. The Lord is working though you cannot feel, see, or hear a thing. The trial of Job turned out to be a blessing in disguise; acknowledge your trial to be the same. In this dry spell, this drought, this wasteland moment, it may seem like Hell on earth. But keep putting one foot in front of the other. A messenger once told me, "the journey is not worth much if it is not difficult. If it is easy, then it has no value". You are in a season of preparation for the Kingdom tasks of your future, that only you can effectively tend to. God knows where you are and he does not condemn! If he did, you wouldn't be breathing at this very moment. Take heart. Keep afloat. The Lifeguard shall come speedily to your side!